Thursday, June 30, 2005

Depressed

Someone I know had me so upset the other day... I have done nothing... I didn't call the band I want an audition with... I didn't call my ex band members to pick up my stuff... I left work early today... I think I have enough people in my life telling me that I am a piece a shit... I don't think I want to add one for fun... It's funny to me when a person says that they love you in one breath and then tells you, constantly, that you are no good... I think I want a relationship with someone that understands and likes me for who I am... The ordasidy of some people to constantly and consistently judge me without ever looking twice at themselves is unparalleled to anything... I see the flaws in myself and there is many, but I have no time for people that just want to make me feel bad about myself... Maybe I'll end up alone but it's better then being demeaned for the rest of my life and being told its my own fault... If I was a woman that would be abuse

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

FUNNY

I am not going to lie, some of me is upset about the band dissolving, I like those guys... But I really don't think our styles would ever mesh... We have some cool tunes.. That you'll never hear... but never-the-less I feel the break up is for the best... Anyway... I checked my email... And low and behold a band that I have been trying to get a hold of emails me finally.... arghh another audition... What a coincidence though the email shows up now... This is who they list as influences "Sevendust, nonpoint, metallica, nirvana, perfect circle, tool, korn, nickelback" ... A match made in heaven... I hope so... I just got done telling someone I was gonna take a break until the right thing came along... I feel like the right thing may have just come along...

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Unbelievable

What the F*** I can do no right... I am sitting here working on my website... And I get into an argument over it on the internet... It never ends... Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change

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WANTED

A heavy rock band with a songlist... that are just looking for words and a melody

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Got an email

Got an email from my guitarist today... went like this "hey, well we're shutting things down here, no more band. BOB (name changed)can't really make it anymore, he's really busy, i'm super busy with two jobs, and this thing just ain't workin out. It's nobody's fault, nobody sucks, its just what it is. plus we're all focusing on other aspects of life and work, at least BOB (name changed) and i are. I'm gonna be selling a bunch of shit too if you know anyone who's interested, my line^ amp, my bass, one of my guitars, a keyboard and other shit. i think NEIL (name changed)is selling his drums too. anyway, i'll get your PA stuff all ready to go, just gimme a call peace" .... I have to laugh... I was ready to quit last Tuesday... they cancelled Friday, if you notice he is only selling the shit he doesn't use... but whatever... I am not upset nor angry... I wasn't having any fun and when you are not having fun you should QUIT...

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FINALLY

I am up... I am running... I am loving it... No banners... No pop-ups... EVER

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Monday, June 27, 2005

THIS IS IRRITATING

Okay my website has been down quite some time now... Of course you know that without being able to read this... Very very uncool... Yes you may be able to call it my fault I didn't Change my technical contact info... But I changed the IP... Free webspaces are up in an instant.... Its been 3 days arghh...

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Apology

Remember the story about work and the guy that pissed me off... I probably over reacted I apologized... Story of my life

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Cool thing

Yep my site has been down for a couple a days ...Switching over to a banner free spot... 35 dollars... They claim its a transfer fee but there is nothing for them to transfer... Which is why I am wondering what is taking so long... The cool thing is I can still blog and not miss a step and republish my whole site as soon as I have one again...

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Sunday, June 26, 2005

No nicotine

I noticed that the posts that I write prior to my nicotine gum... Are much more bitchy... And seeing how I am only compelled to write when I am angry or irritated I may have to rethink this whole blog thing...

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Saturday, June 25, 2005

I live in the basement

Every fucking morning I am woken up by my fucking stepfather rummaging around in the basement I understand it is his fucking house house but I have to be quiet taking a fucking piss outside their room.. At times normal people would be up... This guy is doing this shit at 9 in the morning (and much earlier) I mean I get up at 4:30 in the fucking morning all week... Can I sleep in on the weekends... Like I said I understand it's their fucking house but there is such a thing as manners...

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Friday, June 24, 2005

Pregnancy = license to be obnoxious

Is pregnancy a license to be obnoxious? I mean granted if your wife or significant other is pregnant you have to put up with or endure a little more than usual... But what if it is your friend or brothers wife... Do you have to tolerate abnormal behavior?... I get home from work... I have a real job... I work... And I use my head... This isn't sit behind a desk all day come home and complain that you had a rough day at work time.... So I get home... Finally after a long hot day.... And you see I got into an argument with someone at work today... I finally get a chance to sit in my lazy chair and watch a lil TV (Court TV actually) and just as my eyes are closing the phone rings... My brothers pregnant wife (who is usually very cool) Hello.... Is your mother there... No she's not here... Where is she on her way home from work or getting her nails done or... She's not here... FINE BYE... Click.... WHAT THE FUCK... I have one place that no one anywhere can treat me like a dick... That is the bedroom in the home in which I reside I mean is anything sacred anymore... I called back... Told her never to do that again... And hung up... She called back.. Tried to recap what happened.. Like explain how it was my fault she acted like an ass (I hate that)... I said I am done with this conversation and hung up... I don't think that I was outta line... But I know that she will complain to my whole family and it will be my fault...

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Michael say it aint so

I know I am late on talking about this or maybe not (you pick) but I did watch the trial faithfully... No not because I am an avid Michael Jackson fan or anything (of course I was I won't lie... I'm 28 I was just a boy when he was the (or a) man and I was a fan) but because I was curious... And okay maybe a small piece of me is still that little boy in Germany (I AM AN AMERICAN) when everything seemed so much simpler... But the legal system feeds my thirst for knowledge at the moment and has for quite sometime... Probably because of all my run ins through-out my life with the legal system... Now I don't know about you but if you watched it.... On court TV (great coverage... Nancy Grace is so hot) I believe that just about every American that takes the legal system... At least somewhat seriously ('cause that's all you'll get outta me "somewhat") would have come up with the same conclusion... Why.. You ask? You shouldn't ... Four little words... "Beyond a reasonable doubt" that's a lot to contend with and I love it when it works... And it did... NOW that does not mean I condone what he was accused (AND ACQUITTED) of I do not.... And if he did it I hope he burns in hell... Or what ever it is he believes in.... But the evidence was not there.... And that brings me to my point.... If he is innocent... Which HE IS... There was a lot of weird personal shit that came out through out this trial... fucked up books... Stories of showers with boys... You name it the infamous "JESUS JUICE" whatever... Pictures of his PENIS on file at the local D.A. office... And they refuse to give them back... Think about this Americans IT doesn't matter what you think of Mr. Jackson... It is larger then that (not his Penis, I dunno about that)... I wish you people that have nothing better to do then complain about what other people are doing and make new laws and attack people like Jackson... Or let his rights be violated even after he his found innocent would some day step back and look at the complete picture.... If you give them the right to do this to someone because you THINK they are guilty they can do it you... Or anyone else simply because they think they are guilty.... Trust me I know that there is corruption through out the whole legal process... No one knows that more than me... All the way up and down the line... From the arrest to the trial and beyond... But I still whole heartily believe that the American justice system is still pure... When those 12 jurors close that door behind them... And it's just them with the law and there morals...They get it right and they did in this case... but the State still accomplished their objective... Destroy Michael Jackson... Now if that ain't why those four white guys left England, I don't know what would be

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Complaining again?

You know... Someone told me that I wrote the post about "complaining" and then I wrote the post "I know I said" and I sounded like the exact thing I was complaining about (complaining about the complainers)... Well this is where I hate stupid people... I didn't feel that this person was attacking me personally... First off it's work and arguments happen... Second I was just trying to protect the guy that works for me... And any worker wants that from his boss...

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blogging

I love this blog stuff.... It's very therapeutic... Of coarse I am sure that I will not post as much as I am now in the future, but never-the-less very therapeutic... I should also add that I love the blogging website that makes most of this possible... the banners are because I use free webspace not from the blogging websoftware... they put a little link on the bottom right and if they didn't I would... check it out click on the word blogging in this post or at the bottom right

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I know I said

I know I said that I was going to elaborate a little more on the last post... This however is not it... Although I think it does pertain to it...
A little while ago am employee came to me and was worried about an injury to his finger that may be getting infected... I agreed and said lets go see the safety manager... We preceded to go and show him the finger... He agreed there was a problem and even against my very strong wishes (because we had work to do and the employee wanted to wait to see if it got better over the weekend) decided to send him to the doctor right now... No prob ... Even though the fucking guy had to repeat it over and over again, it was still no prob.... Now this fucking guy comes outta the office and tells me that the employee has to drive his self to the clinic... Now I am very irritated... But yet I calmly state... That that was against the rules... I barely finished and I get interrupted and he says well that's... Janes rule (name changed) and I said right... And he said that he didn't care what Jane said and he was changing the rule... blah blah blah, anyway it escalated from there... So I just sent the guy to the clinic, again no prob.... Anyway the guy goes up to the office and asks for directions and he starts hollering at him too... UNBELIEVABLE... Whatever!!!! I am going to leave it alone from here, as long as he does... If he doesn't, I think that I am right and I will stick to my guns on this one....

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Complaining

I love people that are constantly complaining about what other people are doing to them... I think I used to be that kind of person... But I am trying real hard not to be... I'll elaborate more on this later

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Copyright office

A while back I opened a spot on my space.com they kicked me off because someone told them that I was infringing on their copyright... Well now you can check it out on-line anytime... There is a link right to my personal copyrights and to the office to conduct any search of your own... This person is lucky I don't sue their fucking ass for slander... but I am at heart a peaceful person and really never had the justice system work in my favor...

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Heavy Metal

I had band practice last Tuesday night.... I kind of laid it on the line with the guys, told them it wasn't working out, and they kind of agreed... so I think instead of having me quit... we all decided to work on originals... because that is what I always do and want to do... trying to do cover tunes that I don't like or have never heard doesn't make any sense does it?... I remember when we first got back together (yes BACK together... That's a longer story) I specifically told them... "I have never really done cover tunes... but I will do any ones you want if you record the music for me... and let me practice on my own..."they agreed actually I'll quote "that should be no problem" yet it never happened... its not like its a big deal... we play plugged into a studio anyway... its a matter of hitting record and keeping it.... so I am at a loss why this simple luxury would be denied me... Especially after the contrary was already promised... I'm kinda getting off the point though... the point is that I have been missing the last few Tuesdays.. do to reasonable personal situations, and the bassist has been missing the last few Fridays... now I'm not complaining but I voiced my concerns on Tuesday how we are not getting anything done and that I was unhappy and next thing I know I get an email canceling Friday... Mind you it seems like a legitimate reason but I dunno I hope things get better... I'm getting old and tired.... I may be running out of words do you believe that me running out of words...

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People Suck

I hate people that ....

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I gave in

After seeing so many stupid fucking people, that think they are the most intelligent people on the planet, have a blog... I decided to do it too, I mean why not... I may be stupid (that's for you to decide after months go on) but the first part of becoming smart is knowing that you'll always have something to learn from other people.

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